"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight". Proverbs 3:5-6
A couple of weeks ago, I was driving to work. It was an ordinary day, and as I was driving, I reached out and changed the music station on my radio. A little feeling of relief surprised me, and I quickly realized how I was appreciative that in my own car, the radio stations had not altered from the buttons I had preset them on. It's a little thing, I know.
At work I drive a company car. I used to be the primary driver, however, I now share it more with 3-4 other individuals. Their listening preferences have made their way to what had felt like "my" radio dial. Once I even tried to find my station only to realize that someone had changed 3 of the presets all to the same radio station. I sent an email to two of my coworkers, telling them to "rest assured, radio fan, that you have a button", and that one's enough. They both thought it was funny, but it hasn't stopped the fact that my favorite radio stations keep getting reprogrammed over.
So it was funny when in my little car, I pressed the button and felt the relief of getting what my listening ear had ordered. Then I quickly had to question, as I'm sure you have done by now... what's the big deal?
This little moment of sunshine reflected something a little bigger to me that I hadn't been as aware of. The reason I liked it so much was over a sense of control. Remembering what it was like to be a little kid an not able to listen what you wanted to, unless you had your Walkman, and at that the batteries had to be good, and you'd still have to rewind and replay to hear that favorite song as much as you wanted. Its another one of those moments that remind me of the perks of adulthood- I control my radio.
I was persuaded to consider the topic of control a little more. I think about the political games, why most people want to move up in their careers, why people want to be the boss, why do I feel called to leadership like a bug to a light? I know in so many of these area's its the chance to be the rule maker... the chance to see really how life would work out if everyone had to play by your/my set of rules.
I began to question how much of our identities and self worth we wrap up into this idea of control. What would it look like if I had no control? I began to think of a childhood friend who had a motor-bike accident, leaving him paralyzed. How would I feel about me, if I had to base it off of absolutely nothing that I did, I couldn't make the rules, and I had to just "be".
Over the last few months I feel called to a word that really had no attraction to me before- ABIDE.
I have to know this is one of those "God Calling" moments, because for something to come into your life that you wrestle so much... if it were up to me, I would just make some quick decisions, try something out, and if it worked, great- if not, no big deal. However, I've been called to abide, and I'm not even fully sure what that means. A calling to "just be"? A conscious effort of pulling my weeds of need to control, and remembering God? Remembering who He is, and just because He is that He is, I am in His image, so I am that I am in Him? What does that even mean?
I felt before that God was calling me to be prepared for His work. I got my MBA. Its been a bit of a struggle for me mentally/ spiritually to feel like I'm sitting on it. Yet I know that in my story, God comes. In a world that says career ladders are the way you play and rungs are a sense of your self worth and accomplishment, I struggle. I've been with the same company for five and a half years and was promoted once. That may seem a disappointment only to the short-sighted, but its my generation too... they move, they shake. And I have to know that in abiding, I am not being left behind. That in abiding, I can trust in the Lord with all my heart. I have to abandon my way of understanding. He is the director of what I hope to be an unbeaten path... so I can trust for Him to make the way straight.
I encourage you. Consider what you control. What have you got authority over? Do you let that define you in any way? What would it look like if you weren't in those positions? What would be different?
I don't have the answers...............but I don't have to. And for me to make that statement... well that's simply a big thing. I will continue to wrestle to abide for as long as God is calling me to it. Some my exert their energy to move, to go. The crazy thing about God is that He is a separate being. I feel His calling, and it doesn't always make sense to me... and it doesn't have to. If He wants me to push this kind of energy to wrestle out who I am, I'll consider it my 40 days in the desert, and trust him for the life that is currently happening, and that which is to come.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Bingo
Yesterday I spent some time on the phone again. I am reaching out to each of our local cities regarding the transportation issues I've been made aware of in our county. In each call I was asking for someone from that city to serve as point person as I disseminate a flier to nonprofits in our area, and they pass them along to their clients in an effort to raise this conversation to the next level. The city person just needs to be aware of what services their city has, whether that be something they offer, a nonprofit offers or a business, such as a taxi or ride share service provides. They also will have the opportunity to engage the public to learn first hand about their needs, and if the opportunity becomes available to share that with their city councils, they will have first-hand accounts as fodder to fuel the dialogue forward.
In my conversations with so many of the nonprofits here in our county the constant thread is transportation. In order to get to the next level or capitalize on service opportunities they need a way to move their clients in order to take advantage of the opportunities that are available to help them break cycles of crisis.
Some have given up on the transportation issue entirely, stating that they don't want to come back to the dialogue table until people are talking about more than roads or building plans. Maybe I'm naive, but in order for the conversation to be brought up, doesn't there have to be someone who's invested their time, gained credibility, and been the one willing to reintroduce the conversation? How can we have expectations that this issue will speak for itself?
Others have become creative, as some nonprofits are considering campus hubs, which contain satellite offices of providers who show the greatest opportunity of helping assist their clients in getting to that next level. Its a strategic venture, and one I am very interested in. It provides a solution for some client's needs, but there is still the need for single vehicle families- when kids need to go to the doctor. Or what about the single parent family who can't afford a vehicle, and the parent needs to get the kids to care and to a job to etablish independence? What of the senior adult who no longer feels comfortable to drive? Are we saying by lack of action that our communities have no place for these individuals to thrive?
I believe in collaboration. I believe when you bring people to the table the end result will be a much more developed and potentially successful plan.
I've made an effort to reach out to each city's transportation person, and I've been listening to their stories. In yesterday's calls I even had some of them asking me what the others are doing. They are interested in a regional approach to think creatively and strategically about how we best meet this need. And this certainly doesn't and shouldn't fall solely to a city's responsibility. Its a community responsibility. Its where the corporate, private and government sectors can all come together to create a multifaceted response to a complex need.
After yesterday's calls I got an email requesting a meeting specifically with one of of the larger cities in our county. They are "looking to host a round table discussion with service agencies in the area. The purpose is to get people to think outside of the box in coming up with ways to get more public transportation".
BINGO
I'm thrilled. It's dialogue at the next level. I'm hoping dialogues like this one begin in each city, and then cross-city and county-wide.
I'm not exactly sure when it was, but some years ago I decided that I wanted the opportunities that I invest my time and energy into to be accelerators or catalysts that would do the most good. I don't particularly have a love for transportation. I certainly never intended to serve as a community moderator for this issue. Sometimes, you just have to see the need, meet the need. The existence of need in itself is an invitation or call to action. Being a mom now, only encourages me all the more to set a precedence for my son of what I feel it is to love God and love others in action. All I hope to do is lead by example, and hopefully my family, my friends, my neighborhood, my community is better for it.
In my conversations with so many of the nonprofits here in our county the constant thread is transportation. In order to get to the next level or capitalize on service opportunities they need a way to move their clients in order to take advantage of the opportunities that are available to help them break cycles of crisis.
Some have given up on the transportation issue entirely, stating that they don't want to come back to the dialogue table until people are talking about more than roads or building plans. Maybe I'm naive, but in order for the conversation to be brought up, doesn't there have to be someone who's invested their time, gained credibility, and been the one willing to reintroduce the conversation? How can we have expectations that this issue will speak for itself?
Others have become creative, as some nonprofits are considering campus hubs, which contain satellite offices of providers who show the greatest opportunity of helping assist their clients in getting to that next level. Its a strategic venture, and one I am very interested in. It provides a solution for some client's needs, but there is still the need for single vehicle families- when kids need to go to the doctor. Or what about the single parent family who can't afford a vehicle, and the parent needs to get the kids to care and to a job to etablish independence? What of the senior adult who no longer feels comfortable to drive? Are we saying by lack of action that our communities have no place for these individuals to thrive?
I believe in collaboration. I believe when you bring people to the table the end result will be a much more developed and potentially successful plan.
I've made an effort to reach out to each city's transportation person, and I've been listening to their stories. In yesterday's calls I even had some of them asking me what the others are doing. They are interested in a regional approach to think creatively and strategically about how we best meet this need. And this certainly doesn't and shouldn't fall solely to a city's responsibility. Its a community responsibility. Its where the corporate, private and government sectors can all come together to create a multifaceted response to a complex need.
After yesterday's calls I got an email requesting a meeting specifically with one of of the larger cities in our county. They are "looking to host a round table discussion with service agencies in the area. The purpose is to get people to think outside of the box in coming up with ways to get more public transportation".
BINGO
I'm thrilled. It's dialogue at the next level. I'm hoping dialogues like this one begin in each city, and then cross-city and county-wide.
I'm not exactly sure when it was, but some years ago I decided that I wanted the opportunities that I invest my time and energy into to be accelerators or catalysts that would do the most good. I don't particularly have a love for transportation. I certainly never intended to serve as a community moderator for this issue. Sometimes, you just have to see the need, meet the need. The existence of need in itself is an invitation or call to action. Being a mom now, only encourages me all the more to set a precedence for my son of what I feel it is to love God and love others in action. All I hope to do is lead by example, and hopefully my family, my friends, my neighborhood, my community is better for it.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Hinged on Community
Almost a year ago a friend of mine lent me a book from her personal library. I owe her for not having returned it by now, but I owe her more for the insight and challenge its been to me since recently picking it back up and working through the first couple of chapters.
The book is called Quitter, and it's written by Jon Acuff. As I'm reading it, I can see some parallelism with the Leadership coursework of my MBA. The book narrates, rather comically, the notion of following your dreams, but also mitigating risk.
I'm currently in the second chapter, and Acuff talks about "hinge moments", as opportunities to look into your past and see the moments that differentiate your passions and skills. Through the process of discovery, you can uncover, rather than discover, what life's work may look like for you.
In the discovery of his own hing moments, Acuff asks 5 questions-
1. What do I love enough to do for free?
2. What do I do that causes time to feel different?
3. What do I enjoy doing regardless of the opinions of other people?
4. If only your life changed would that be enough?
5. Are there any patterns in the things you like doing?
Amidst these questions he says-
"If you killed yourself for years creating something and at the end of the experience, the only life that had changed was your own, would that be rewarding enough? If the experience was the lesson and the journey itself was the reward, would that be okay with you? If there something that holds that sway for you"?
I do love the idea of intrinsic motivation and the value of each one's journey. I departed from the idea of a destination a long time ago. However, the first question seemed to alienate me a bit, but I think that's driven by my passion for community. Christ calls us to community, and if I'm living a life that only affected my own, to me that seems disjointed from purpose. However, that does highlight the hinge for me is absolutely driven by the sense of community- my life's work is driven by my passion for inclusion, for representation of the "least of these", and doing it in a way that encourages everyone to get involved. Not just the usual suspects of philanthropy. We all have a role to play in developing community and quality of life is an extension of love for one's neighbor.
As I continue to seek God's calling and continue my life's journey, I sense community and leadership will continue to be a prevailing theme. With that comes the weight and responsibilities of leadership, but thankfully, in community that weight is never something one we must bear alone.
The book is called Quitter, and it's written by Jon Acuff. As I'm reading it, I can see some parallelism with the Leadership coursework of my MBA. The book narrates, rather comically, the notion of following your dreams, but also mitigating risk.
I'm currently in the second chapter, and Acuff talks about "hinge moments", as opportunities to look into your past and see the moments that differentiate your passions and skills. Through the process of discovery, you can uncover, rather than discover, what life's work may look like for you.
In the discovery of his own hing moments, Acuff asks 5 questions-
1. What do I love enough to do for free?
2. What do I do that causes time to feel different?
3. What do I enjoy doing regardless of the opinions of other people?
4. If only your life changed would that be enough?
5. Are there any patterns in the things you like doing?
Amidst these questions he says-
"If you killed yourself for years creating something and at the end of the experience, the only life that had changed was your own, would that be rewarding enough? If the experience was the lesson and the journey itself was the reward, would that be okay with you? If there something that holds that sway for you"?
I do love the idea of intrinsic motivation and the value of each one's journey. I departed from the idea of a destination a long time ago. However, the first question seemed to alienate me a bit, but I think that's driven by my passion for community. Christ calls us to community, and if I'm living a life that only affected my own, to me that seems disjointed from purpose. However, that does highlight the hinge for me is absolutely driven by the sense of community- my life's work is driven by my passion for inclusion, for representation of the "least of these", and doing it in a way that encourages everyone to get involved. Not just the usual suspects of philanthropy. We all have a role to play in developing community and quality of life is an extension of love for one's neighbor.
As I continue to seek God's calling and continue my life's journey, I sense community and leadership will continue to be a prevailing theme. With that comes the weight and responsibilities of leadership, but thankfully, in community that weight is never something one we must bear alone.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
My Christian Leadership
The least of these. Community. Quality of living. These are all words that hold importance to me and to many in our community. But when the rubber hits the road, sometimes the politics of putting these into action can be ... shall I say... tricky?
Lately, I find myself centered in a dialogue about transportation. I had been invited into several community conversations about transportation, but no other nonprofits were in the room, and the conversations centered on subtopics like community design (eat, work, sleep, play all within a walkable space), or roads or traffic. Yet no one was in the room and nothing was said about our fellow community members who aren't even on the roads. As a result, elderly can't get out at night or to the doctor. There are families participating in programs like Capital Idea or Family Care at Texas Baptist Children's Home and seeking better lives. The result can be a break generational cycles that have kept them down, and yet they can't land that new job or travel to other parts of the city or county for other services that help them get back on their feet. We also have youth who are considered "couch surfers" or homeless. There are after school activities that are designed to move them into being productive citizens, like at the Boys and Girls Club, The Nest or YMCA, but when the programs are over, the doors are shut, and how do they get to shelter or somewhere safe?
By default, I'm someone who can't stand by, so I began meeting with city and county officials to learn more about what's been done in our cities' pasts so we can make a plan for the future. I have now hosted two forums seeking the involvement of my fellow nonprofits to begin to label and quantify the need. Meanwhile, I'm a new mom, with a whole different set of job expectations to balance.
I begin to wonder- if I don't stay involved, will the momentum from these forums and discussions really go anywhere? I wonder how we paint a picture of quality of life for all in our communities while also remaining aware that some people in our community think that if we provide transportation services, we will begin to harbor more of "those people", and their definition of quality of life is threatened.
Even in my own sector, you find those individuals who you can tell have been there, done that, and now would like to rain on any parade of progress. I got this email just today regarding the forum I hosted last Friday:
Amanda
I appreciate the time you have invested in this but the event was hardly a dialog but rather an infomercial for mass transit. The information presented has little if anything to do with the transportation issues faced by the clients we serve and I suspect most of the clients served by nonprofits here in X. I saw or heard nothing that caused me to be optimistic about any meaningful intra city transportation here in X in the foreseeable future.
Mass transit will certainly help those middle and upper middle class workers in X who need to commute to their jobs and that will certainly be a good thing but it will not change the day to day reality for our clients.
In my opinion I also think the concept that any significant numbers of nonprofit clients will continue to call time after time following repeated denials to assist in data gathering seems quite unrealistic. There needs to be a better way to gather that data.
The speaker at the next event (name) makes a living from contracting with government entities re: transportation so I have a hard time imagining that the needs of nonprofit clients will be a focus of that event either. The agenda of all of these presentations is to gain voter acceptance for these mass transit projects and I have no delusion that it's about what's best our nonprofit clients so I have decided that it's not an effective use of my time.
Respectfully ,
(Name)
So putting together what I learned from my class "Leadership: Community" I reached out to this person with the following email:
So here I am, considering Christian Leadership... considering my community, and considering what my calling is to it? Jesus knew politics of his time, and maintained his integrity of service and caring for "the least of these". Here we are nealry 2000 years from the peak of his ministry, and still the objective remains to reflect him... and build comunity like He did.
Lately, I find myself centered in a dialogue about transportation. I had been invited into several community conversations about transportation, but no other nonprofits were in the room, and the conversations centered on subtopics like community design (eat, work, sleep, play all within a walkable space), or roads or traffic. Yet no one was in the room and nothing was said about our fellow community members who aren't even on the roads. As a result, elderly can't get out at night or to the doctor. There are families participating in programs like Capital Idea or Family Care at Texas Baptist Children's Home and seeking better lives. The result can be a break generational cycles that have kept them down, and yet they can't land that new job or travel to other parts of the city or county for other services that help them get back on their feet. We also have youth who are considered "couch surfers" or homeless. There are after school activities that are designed to move them into being productive citizens, like at the Boys and Girls Club, The Nest or YMCA, but when the programs are over, the doors are shut, and how do they get to shelter or somewhere safe?
By default, I'm someone who can't stand by, so I began meeting with city and county officials to learn more about what's been done in our cities' pasts so we can make a plan for the future. I have now hosted two forums seeking the involvement of my fellow nonprofits to begin to label and quantify the need. Meanwhile, I'm a new mom, with a whole different set of job expectations to balance.
I begin to wonder- if I don't stay involved, will the momentum from these forums and discussions really go anywhere? I wonder how we paint a picture of quality of life for all in our communities while also remaining aware that some people in our community think that if we provide transportation services, we will begin to harbor more of "those people", and their definition of quality of life is threatened.
Even in my own sector, you find those individuals who you can tell have been there, done that, and now would like to rain on any parade of progress. I got this email just today regarding the forum I hosted last Friday:
Amanda
I appreciate the time you have invested in this but the event was hardly a dialog but rather an infomercial for mass transit. The information presented has little if anything to do with the transportation issues faced by the clients we serve and I suspect most of the clients served by nonprofits here in X. I saw or heard nothing that caused me to be optimistic about any meaningful intra city transportation here in X in the foreseeable future.
Mass transit will certainly help those middle and upper middle class workers in X who need to commute to their jobs and that will certainly be a good thing but it will not change the day to day reality for our clients.
In my opinion I also think the concept that any significant numbers of nonprofit clients will continue to call time after time following repeated denials to assist in data gathering seems quite unrealistic. There needs to be a better way to gather that data.
The speaker at the next event (name) makes a living from contracting with government entities re: transportation so I have a hard time imagining that the needs of nonprofit clients will be a focus of that event either. The agenda of all of these presentations is to gain voter acceptance for these mass transit projects and I have no delusion that it's about what's best our nonprofit clients so I have decided that it's not an effective use of my time.
Respectfully ,
(Name)
So putting together what I learned from my class "Leadership: Community" I reached out to this person with the following email:
(Name),
Thank you for your feedback. I hear you. Friday did not fully follow the script that I intended and (name)took more time providing an update, and the wrong update, regarding mass transit. (Mass Transit Rep) came to the first forum, in which he received great feedback from our fellow nonprofit partners. Much of which he said he had never heard before, and would implement in future renderings of their plans . He was invited back on the basis of providing a 10-15 minute max update from the dialogue we had had with him last October or so. As you mentioned and witnessed, this is not what we got.
I am not a proponent specifically of Mass Transit. I just happen to be included in several regional meetings about transportation, and no other nonprofits were even represented, and I quickly realized that the conversations focused on Mass Transit or on road projects or on traffic congestion. No one in the room was bringing up the people who can’t even get on the road. So I’ve attempted to resurrect the banner. It’s my understanding that many people from our sector have tried to engage in the past, but found that the dialogue was, just as I described before, not all encompassing, and thus I believe many have decided not to invest further time. My fear is that our clients then go unrepresented, and then there isn’t a voice in the room to say that we, as a community, want to shift the dialogue.
The only starting place I saw for real change was to educate the public on what the city has done in the past (the panel), and educate the community on the real need for accessibility (LaLena and Leslie). Could it have been done better? I’m sure. My agenda was not to come in with guns blazing and making any assumptions about what the solution is. I understand that we need to have everyone at the table to be able to have buy in from all parties and be able to understand more so why the cities haven’t assumed certain responsibilities. In the same, after meeting with key city officials, I saw that we needed to help the cities to understand the limiting parameters as to why the nonprofit community hasn’t “owned it”.
I respect that you feel like this wasn’t an effective use of time. I will say that since these two forums, two local foundations have approached me, letting me know that it has brought the matter to their attention and they are considering putting more funding out there for it. I heard today from two people in the business community who came Friday that he didn’t even know this was an issue and was surprised by how many nonprofits were represented in the room. Our forum was brought up twice today in a chamber transportation meeting by another business man in the financial industry, and he specifically shared about what was “eye opening” to him.
It sounds like you’ve been a part of the seasoned crew who have seen this dialogue pretty much go in circles with no real traction. I’d ask you to reconsider your stance of disengaging from the effort, and rather, would you be willing to teach me what you know? I have tons of questions, and feel we can only learn and move forward by fully knowing our history- which is why there was such a focus this last Friday on the past efforts- so we all have a foundation to move forward from. I respect the decision you make, but feel you could bring value to what is sure to be an uphill battle- but somebody’s got to do it.
Respectfully yours,
Amanda
So here I am, considering Christian Leadership... considering my community, and considering what my calling is to it? Jesus knew politics of his time, and maintained his integrity of service and caring for "the least of these". Here we are nealry 2000 years from the peak of his ministry, and still the objective remains to reflect him... and build comunity like He did.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Trail blazing
It's 6 months post-graduation, and I recently had the honor of serving as a guest alumni on a panel to Concordia's Board of Regents and Board of Trustees. Being on campus felt like it was only yesterday that I was driving away after presenting my Capstone, and wondering as I looked in my rear view mirror when the next time I would be back. And at the same time, since that moment in the rear view mirror, my world's been turned upside down by a sweet little boy named Wesley, who turned 2 months old today. As I spoke to the crowd, I talked about the value I found in my journey at Concordia through the MBA program. My journey was what I made of it, but what happened for me was a true paradigm shift.
Going forward I've looked for opportunities to use my developed skills. Many times it has appeared as though I'm trying to identify existing opportunities to insert myself. I'm looking for a fit. But just as a key won't open a lock it doesn't belong to, I have come to a crossroads. To continue seeking to fit a new mold, or perhaps, and what challenges me, is to destroy the mold altogether.
Perhaps my path isn't one modeled from current opportunities, or to be replicated from a compilation of paths that have gone before me. Perhaps- that's not who I ever was, and perhaps... just perhaps it's time to fully embrace the unknown trail.
Trailblazing is a word I feel that's loosely used. It stands for a woman who went into a "man's world", and did "surprisingly well." It's used for someone who hit some cultural standard- one that hadn't been hit in their family's lineage. Yet in all these circumstances, and those like them, there is already a forged path, and it is the kind of journeyer who breaks some chain of tradition.
What if we become true trail blazers? What if we pursue the "original thought", even if Freud would disagree? What does that mean for our jobs, our families, the story to which we pour our lives?
I'm enamoured with administration. I have a thought that for nonprofits, Development is the cover of the book, and in addition to a well done cover, the content- the organization and the strategies have got to be page turning.
My pages just keep turning... and with a baby and return to work, the plot continues to thicken. I'm excited at what lies ahead, knowing irony, surprise, and trail blazing will all be sure to come.
Going forward I've looked for opportunities to use my developed skills. Many times it has appeared as though I'm trying to identify existing opportunities to insert myself. I'm looking for a fit. But just as a key won't open a lock it doesn't belong to, I have come to a crossroads. To continue seeking to fit a new mold, or perhaps, and what challenges me, is to destroy the mold altogether.
Perhaps my path isn't one modeled from current opportunities, or to be replicated from a compilation of paths that have gone before me. Perhaps- that's not who I ever was, and perhaps... just perhaps it's time to fully embrace the unknown trail.
Trailblazing is a word I feel that's loosely used. It stands for a woman who went into a "man's world", and did "surprisingly well." It's used for someone who hit some cultural standard- one that hadn't been hit in their family's lineage. Yet in all these circumstances, and those like them, there is already a forged path, and it is the kind of journeyer who breaks some chain of tradition.
What if we become true trail blazers? What if we pursue the "original thought", even if Freud would disagree? What does that mean for our jobs, our families, the story to which we pour our lives?
I'm enamoured with administration. I have a thought that for nonprofits, Development is the cover of the book, and in addition to a well done cover, the content- the organization and the strategies have got to be page turning.
My pages just keep turning... and with a baby and return to work, the plot continues to thicken. I'm excited at what lies ahead, knowing irony, surprise, and trail blazing will all be sure to come.
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