The obvious title choice: Half Way

Its unbelievable that this journey is midway, and yet there are so many times that it feels I have just started.  I can clearly remember going through marketing and beginning new initiatives with that knowledge... Economics, Leadership of Self, Critical Thinking, Org Behavior and Change, Accounting, Finance, Leadership of Others, Org. Ethics- Can it really be that I have completed all of these courses?

I have friends in Cohort 2 and Cohort 3.  We got together for lunch yesterday to sell our books down the line to one another (fyi- the university frowns on this, as they say we should keep our books), and it was so much fun swapping stories, hearing about the different dynamics of each group, and already how classes have morphed and transitioned as each group takes them.  The dynamics of a brand new program are getting all ironed out, and its really interesting to see how being only a semester a part, each of our experiences will each be a little different.

My books are purchased for next semester, but I can tell that I'm suffering with a little burnout.  I really couldn't even tell you the names of the courses I'll begin in a week and a half.  I thought when I hit the midway point that there would be this illustrious moment- a mountain top high.... Instead I find myself in a similar state after I finished my first 5K earlier this year.  Coming through the finish line with a trot that was a sorry excuse for a run, cheeks flush, resembling a glazed doughnut in my glean of sweat...crossing the line and looking for water and shade. I needed to sit before I could really take it all in.  I'm not sure when I'm going to feel I'm really on the downhill from here, but some suggest perhaps when the months left hit the single digits.  We wait and see...

There's talk  about whether there will be a graduation ceremony next August when we complete this journey, as currently Concordia only has ceremonies in December and May.  Its strange to me to begin a program that will graduate when there is nothing planned... Its makes me question why they didn't start the program a semester later and give themselves a year to figure out what to do in this case.  There are others that are upset, and I guess the significance of graduation for many is the true finish line, a critical right of passage, and it is currently a mirage.  I emailed the Program Director and offered to assist in anyway possible.  I even suggested a private reception that could be tailored to the very first cohort coming through the program.  I'm envisioning an opportunity for immediate family, professors and administration to come together and share special words for each student.  The Director said they would consider it, and would let me know if they will proceed with an alternative or graduation program for August of next year.  So for now, like the capstone project it's wait and see.  But we signed up for part of this.  Being the first class to go through, there would be bumps and ambiguity.  Some handle it better than others.  Some make greater leniency for it than others.  Sometimes the bumps seem foreseeable and avoidable, and sometimes its hard to avoid them for the sheer capacity it takes to get something like this off the ground.  Its something I appreciate getting to be aware of- all the intricacies without being solely responsible for a new program.

This last Saturday I went for my first run in a while.  I waited until 10 AM and it was much too late for this Texas heat.  I made it about 20 minutes... and about half the distance of a normal 5K.  The last quarter of a mile was pretty brutal, and I was yearning for that double rocker on my front porch.  I never walked... there may have been a pathetic case of jogging, but I kept it up.  I sat in that rocker enjoying every breeze that came my way.  For days now, my sore muscles remind me of that run.  While there were times in the process that it was struggle to say at the least, I remember the pride I had for weeks after completing my 5K.  This gives me hope as I head into semester 4.  The weeks really are numbered.  At one point this will all come to an end, and I won't have a professor next week to ask a question of in class.  I won't get to laugh at Terry and AJ's jabs at one another in class.  I won't have Kevin to save me from the cockroach that ran under my chair, or Charles to bring his farm fresh peaches.  We will all be bonded together, and see each other on occasion I am sure, but there will be a time when we will no longer be a part of each other's routine.  So while I may be sore from group projects, and sick of another power point or another 100 pages of reading... I'm going to enjoy the journey.  I'm going to bring my notebook to class and keep a log of the funny comments my classmates say.  I'm going to find ways to cherish these relationships that God has placed in my life, and in a short 3 months, there will only be 9 months of the program left.  we'll wonder where the time has flown, and it will be the beginning of then end of this journey and we'll have our MBA's one way or the other.

Sensitivity Training

The past couple of weeks I've seen gender coming into play in various roles of my involvements.  I'll start by saying I've never been a feminist, and have strong ideals that all should be given an equal chance.  As a woman, I am not asking for reparations, just a fair chance. 

Recently, I was seeking some clarity on a project I am involved in, and to get to the long and short of it, I was told I was being withheld from a particular role, even though I was doing the work already, because I am female.  Now to cut to the chase, since this was told to me, an announcement has been made and I am now serving in said role.

However, I just really struggled with the implications this means for me and how this "career world" isn't what I wish it would be. 

On Tuesday night in class I had asked my professor for just some articles on the expectations of the work place.  It was ironic that most of the articles she had printed for me discussed the role of a professional woman.  CNN provided an article titled: 8 ways women can get ahead in the workplace.  Here's a link to it: p://ow.ly/630xO.  The very first piece of advice- Quit thinking the workplace is fair. 

It was a tough pill to swallow.

I woke up several days later, and I was just in a funk about it all.  Part of it is that I'm being told something that I just frankly found it hard to believe someone would say in the 21st century.  Another part concerns me about the liabilities this creates.  The organization doesn't have HR, and I just wonder- where might we get some sensitivity training?

It was early, and I knew I had to find a way to "deal with this" before my day was really underway, so I called my favorite early bird... my mom.

My mom brings a new dynamic to Christian leadership.  She spends multiple hours a day in her scripture reading, prayer and meditation.  Her leadership may come off as passive, but she's one of the most active prayer warriors I know.

That morning, she must have been spending some extra time with Jesus, because her response was just so in line with God's will for me.  When she first talked with me, it wasn't at all what I wanted to hear, but as she shared, I knew it would be the words that develop me into a stronger leader.  There's no way I can add in her voice- I'm too straight and to the point, but here's the bullets:
1. Sometimes God gives us these struggles not because we are supposed to do something immediately about it, but he's entrusting us with a vision for what may be at play.
2.  Being entrusted with this information, we must serve as God's carriers, and not be reactive, or disclose too much.
3. Take time and wait.  Pray and seek Gods will and God's redemption from the struggle.  Sometimes it has more to do with my own development than the actual issue at hand.

I won't pretend that I have this mastered, and I will admit I have a sensitive heart and an active can do attitude, which may mean initial knee jerk reactions that cause myself hurt or grudges with those who inflict careless words.  But in this case I see God working in my own leadership through His personalized course in sensitivity training.  I'm going to swallow this pill, and do what may seem to some as passive.  I will not follow-up on the comments, but I will turn to the Lord and see how he can grow me.  I know God has big plans for my life, and He is in control of my career.  To God there are no glass ceilings, and I trust him in my passions and endeavors for all I do, because really it is who I become in these undertakings that really matters.

Practical Application

Tomorrow morning I will be leading a meeting starting at 7:00AM.  I've led meetings before, but having the experience of my second leadership seminar has me working hard to improve and in many practical ways. 

In the first week we signed up as partners to give a 10 minute "lesson" and a hand out to our fellow classmates from a list our professor provided.  Some of these items were things I had never thought of before.  Holly and I signed up to present on the Meeting Tool Kit.  We created an awesome inventory, and in addition we created a couple of add-ons, like a specific list if you are having a virtual meeting, and even a list of pre- and post- meeting tasks. (I'm happy to provide you a copy if you comment for one below!)  After combing through this list, staying til 6PM, I set the room, and I think our committee will feel great about walking into a room so well prepared! (Can meeting prep be considered one of Chapman's love languages?)

Over the past two days I've been busy preparing, knowing this is our first meeting to kick off the 20th anniversary of an event in April.  I worked for hours on preparation and a very  detailed timeline over the next 12 months.  I've updated the financials document, which is great, because last year was our company's first time to have a budget for this event, and so now we have hard data to base decisions on (Thanks Accounting and Finance!) I have created a subcommittee structure, and have contact info prepared for each sub chair who makes up this steering committee.  The agenda is robust, but I have committed to making this happen in one hour.  To help "steer" this steering committee, I've given them a paper agenda and in addition have written it on the board with check boxes next to it, to feel like we are actually getting somewhere in the meeting (Thanks for the idea, Dr. Johnson!).  To top it off I've made directional signs to hang on the door and have an icebreaker planned (another group's presentation) planned to get us started.

Its so great to be a part of a program that not only gives you the education to stand shoulder to shoulder with the best of the game, but to have such practical pointers will certainly give us greater opportunities for leadership!