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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Taking A Leap of Faith- God Provides

July of 2010- I received my acceptance letter to the new Concordia MBA Program... and the first bill.  Suddenly- going back to school became a reality, and that shifted late night conversations with my husband about the dreams of going back to school to the "hows" of making it happen.  Working for a nonprofit has plenty of perks, but pay is generally not known to be one of them.  Matt was also a full-time graduate student, and his upcoming practicum and internship would make getting a job pretty difficult.  Resources were tight to say the least, and I specifically remember sitting on the couches in our living room, and we had just received the letter outlining the financial obligations of the program.  Matt, the pragmatist in our relationship (in case you haven't already picked up that obvious trait), didn't see how we could make this happen without going further into debt.  Already, we were having to do most of his schooling through student loans.  The reality was we were going to be over $40,000 in debt by the end of these endeavors.  And here I was- wanting to go back to school without any real clarity about how this would benefit my future. 

It seemed a bit of a stretch to make sense of it; however, for about 3 years I had been playing with the idea of my MBA.  After a Business Women's Luncheon with a local speaker talking about education and another local MBA Program, I just couldn't extinguish the thought.  The fire was sparked, and to be honest, I really felt the Lord putting it on my heart in preparation for where He's taking me.  I also through prayer, felt the Lord taking me to Concordia, in lieu of my contacts with the other program's Director.  It was tough, because Concordia was about $6,000 more, but it's focus on nonprofits, the ability to spend more time at home and with my family, and the Lord's leading, in general, just made this the decision for me- and I didn't even apply to the other.

It was a long conversation that night, and my dreams and stubborn drive (in case you haven't already picked up that obvious trait) made the case, and Matt said he would support my decision.

In the following months, a contact I had made in the community approached me about a scholarship she knew of, and I received $1,000.  It was just a portion of the total bill school would cost, but it was enough for God to demonstrate his provision, and for us to move forward.  Then the school received a generous scholarship from a personal donor for the first MBA scholarship, and wouldn't you know- God again demonstrates His faithfulness.  Then, Matt and I felt convicted that we really shouldn't go into anymore debt, and that whatever it took, we would try to pay for the semesters as we went.  And then the freezes from salary increases at work was lifted.  I crossed paths with a lady from a local association, and she remembered to include me in the request for applications for their scholarships, and God again has been faithful to provide.  All in all, $12,500 has been provided in the means of scholarships.  Concordia MBA offers $50 off per credit hour, because I work for a nonprofit.  So far I have taken 24 credit hours, so this equals $1,200, adding up to a grand total of $13,700 in provision.  I say this not that I may boast, but to demonstrate that when God guides your path- He provides.  Now I had to be faithful in my part of applications, and even some declines in scholarships, but if we are steadfast and do our part, He will make a way. 

I just wanted to write this as an encouragement to anyone who may have a God inspired dream- and also to give the Lord a shout-out.  Wait on His timing.  There were times I wanted to go back before that never really amounted to much, but once I really felt Him say go- it just really has been a time of provision... and all in His timing.  Step by step, He is so faithful.

So here I am, ready to begin semester 5 out of 6 in the Concordia MBA.  Through God's provision, its looking more and more like my actual expenses with the program will actually be the difference in cost between the two programs I had been considering, or less.  I could not have seen that coming from that night of conversations on the couch, but I suppose that's why we leave our futures in His hands. 

2012 Isn't as Far Away as it Once Was (An Obvious Statement)

Its hard to believe that this really is the last week of 2011.  This year just blew past me, and I'm thinking it may have something to do with the fact that I was in the MBA program for the full calendar year.  Semesters can at times seem like a mountain, and 15 weeks can stretch on longer than you think.  But as you jump from deadline to deadline and project to project, the weeks of the year really do seem to fly.  I really remember like it was last week when I was writing with excitement about all I was learning in both Marketing and Economics.  Graduation in 2012 seemed forever away.  Yet here we are, about 7.5 months away from completion.

Its the end of a year, so aptly I'm thinking about goals and what I will resolve to do.  It's no easy task, but to say I'll complete my MBA seems like a given.  To add anything above and beyond this task may get me in trouble with my husband, who tends to think I'm already a bit maxed out (foreshadowing about husband's wisdom comment in next paragraph).  So I consider how to compliment this end goal, so that not only do I complete it, but I complete it well.  For some that automatically means finishing strong in a GPA, and to this point I've been dedicated, but I recognize an MBA is not all about the grades.

This weekend we went to Arkansas to visit my husband's family for the holidays.  (In case I have not mentioned it, I think my husband is just one of the wisest people out there).  On our way to drive up to Fayetteville for a Razorback basketball game, we talked with his younger sister.  Fresh out of college, she's just getting started in her adult life, and Matt and I took turns at trying to offer advice.  Mine reflected getting focused, perhaps giving her time to volunteer (and all the benefits of volunteering) and having a busy schedule to help her structure her time and drive her to focus on what she wants to accomplish. My husband, who is alot like his sister, focused more on her making her the best she can be right now.  He offered these three points. 1- Don't underestimate the value of sleep.  Your body needs it, and you really can only be ready for the tasks of the day when you've had a routine fair share. 2- Value exercise.  The endorphins your body gets puts you physically and mentally in a better position to face challenges and be the best person you can be. 3- Find a hobby. Something you can do to get away and just have that time to focus and enjoy something you love.

So I think I'll take a step back and try life from my husband's perspective.  I think I'll make these my complimentary goals, and place a stronger emphasis on a routine bedtime.  I'm not going to become Arnold Schwarzenegger, but I'll set a goal to exercise 3 times a week, and be ready to do the Diva Dash 5K in April and our National Park Hike to Glacier in the Fall.  And as for my hobby... I'm debating on strengthening my Spanish skills, building a raised garden or learning how to paint.  Spanish really could compliment my MBA, but takes brain power, and that's a limited resource as of right now.  Gardening takes dedicated time, which I'm also running short on, and I don't have any painting supplies or know how, and I don't really have the funds to make that happen while paying for school.  Perhaps  I'll just keep this as a carrot to reward myself once I'm done with my MBA, and attempt to start one of these before January 2013, which, if next year goes anything like this one... will be here in no time.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Finishing Four

This semester has come to a close, so I thought I would create a highlights reel.  This semester we had our first ever class blocking with two 15 week classes.  Prior to this there was always one class that was only 10 weeks paired with a 5 week class.  I will tell you, this makes the semesters feel longer.  This also doesn't mean they will take that 10 weeks worth of class and stretch it into 15 weeks.  This is certainly 15 weeks worth of material to cover.  The classes were Economics, Marketing and Competitive Strategy(EMCS) with Dr. Roy Steele and Managing Operations and Technology(MOT) with Dr. David Cameron.  The top theme of the semester was Strategy.  What I heard the most from my fellow students- this is the semester we felt we "earned" our MBA.  This is the first semester that the work matched our expectations of what we would have to put in to get our MBA.  Now that's not just a reflection of "out of class hours" spent.  The quality of those hours spent, were spent with a higher level of expertise demanded from us.  There have been many semesters in which I've spent 10-20 hours outside of class to complete homework, and if I am honest- that first semester really felt like busy work.  This semester was not busy work.  Prepare yourself future cohorts.  Here's what you get to look forward to-

Each class weekly assigns a chapter of reading to cover.  For EMCS, those chapters are easy 40-60 pages of reading, and I think MOT's were about the same, but this text was a bit dryer, with no pictures or handy summaries down the margins.  Then EMCS divided the teams to the professor's own liking (the University didn't convey we were already divided up, and when asked about it, he was told to continue in this direction if we wanted to).  What this meant was we were managing two groups.  One for a major project due at the end of the semester in EMCS, and the other for weekly assignments in MOT plus the group project.  Each class had a weekly Case Study on top of the projects and reading.  The case studies were handled a little differently in each class.  For EMCS this was a weekly Executive Summary.  For me these averaged a weekly 6-8 page paper.  For MOT these were handled within the groups.  So each group had to come together weekly to write a Case Summary identifying the Business Operations Issue and Salient Issue, Complications, Market Implications, Recommendations and more.  This was about an 8 page paper written weekly by the group.  In the last 5 weeks of class this become more about a presentation, and we gave a weekly slide show presentation over the case and our Group's Analysis. 

Of course, what is a semester without a semester long project due at the end? 

In MOT you are to identify a public company and find a Salient Issue, and each member has to write a section of the paper.  Which is graded individually throughout the semester.  Then a collaborative paper is written, and the last week of class this is turned into a presentation in front of the class.

In EMCS you work with your group to identify a company without a business plan or an outdated business plan.  By the end of the semester, you are to write a business plan for that company and present to the class.  The structure for this project changed a bit throughout the class, so ,by the end, 2 out of the 4 groups ended up presenting on established companies, which probably have a strong business plan and the other two worked with start-ups actually in the Austin area to give them some direction.  We were of the later groups, and this actually was more of a challenge, but I feel our group got more out of the project.

For our project, we worked with a company that will export and import from Morocco.  It has just recently been founded, and will likely take off January 2012.  We had dinner with the founders, and got to hear their ideas and direction.  Being that they are so new, we got to do a lot of market research and helped in building support for the direction of the product lines they will work within.  When it came down to the presentation, ours was much more rudimentary; however, I feel we actually went through the process of what it takes to get a business off the ground.  I felt that our work was important as it would actually be used by the business.  Its was like a mini-capstone, and I really enjoyed it. 

I encourage groups out there, when it comes to this project, take on the start-up.  You already know how to do research and build a presentation around it.  Challenge yourselves to really work with a company that will benefit from your efforts- even if it does make the project a little more "hairy".  As we all learned in our MBA Launch, life is messy, and I really feel like this project is a "safe haven" to try your hand at entrepreneurship and making some real world change for the business of your choosing.

Our cohort was really exhausted coming from semester 3, and semester 4 offers no rest for the weary... but the challenge makes you pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and get on with it.  Now- we find ourselves 2/3 of the way done.  Next semester is the last one with just classes.  The last semester sandwiches class with the capstone project.  Before we know it, August will be here, and this will end just as quickly as it launched.

This week, my core group will meet over dinner.  We'll celebrate our successes, and discuss what we hope to accomplish through our MBA's on a personal level over the next semester, and hopefully find strength in our team members to accomplish those goals.  I really love the Cohort format, and am glad we can have this sense of companionship, challenge and camaraderie within this learning experience.  Course, we have self named our team "Team Awesome", so I may be just a bit biased...
:)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to All!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I never said I did it alone.

Since beginning the young professional development program for the Round Rock Chamber of Commerce, I have found a new value to the word 'Mentor'.  Now in my third year, I have developed relationships with three individuals who have brought such value into my life.  My first official mentor was Teri Hill.  An amazing coach, who does this full time.  I felt so blessed that she would just partner with me to help me become the young professional I should be.  She brought to me practical applications to deal with real issues.  There were times she would take out of her day, just to talk me through opportunities, or next steps.  I'm so very proud to have had Teri as my first mentor.  I tell ya- she's worth every penny!

My second mentor was Dr. Edna Rehbein.  She's the Director of the Texas State University campus in Round Rock.  As I began to understand more of what leadership looks like as a woman, she tutored me, and continues to provide excellent guidance and counsel.  Thanks to her, I have found valuable ways to give of my time, including my service on the Round Rock Chamber Board.  I'm learning so much still from the directions she has helped point me, and I am so thankful for the trailblazer she is.

I had lunch with my third mentor today.  A departure from the realm of females, Scott Alarcon is a dynamic leader, and his engaging mentorship is really challenging me to new levels.  Each time Scott and I meet we review the "homework" from our previous meeting.  Assignments have included a 3-5 year plan and measurable goals, reading The Complete Idiot's Guide to Robert's Rules of Order in preparation of my first Chamber Board experience, and more.  He's taught me the value of assertiveness, and our brains just operate in a systems and relational strategy. 

Being a first born, I've often had to just figure things out for myself, but having someone like these mentors really helps pave the way to know what to expect and the best roads to travel.  Pairing mentorship with my MBA is like the 1-2 punch.  I'm learning business strategy, learning how to manage operations and technology, but then there's this guide to help you know how to really use this material in the everyday world.  Given that I'm highly relational, take this with a grain of salt, but I really see mentorship as the catalyst to an MBA education.  You always hear- its all about "who you know"... But I find its really so much more than this.  In the cases of my three mentors, I feel I could call them up at anytime, if need be, but when you work in tandem to the success of one another- that's where the magic happens.

So for those wondering how to start this whole mentoring deal, this is my advice:
  1. Determine where you are, and where you need to go
  2. Find someone in your life that has that type of specialty (ie. my first year, I needed practical guidance, so I brought on a Life Coach, the second year, I faced my first issues with a glass ceiling, and so I sought a successful woman in a traditional men's business, this last year- well there's just something I identified in how purposeful my third mentor is, and I knew I needed his sharpening to become the person God's calling me to be)
  3. Approach your mentor by email with the idea, so they really have time to carefully consider the opportunity
  4. In your email- outline what you are looking for in a mentor, how often you would like to meet, and for what duration.  My current mentor and I meet generally once a month for about an hour and a half, and we are slated to maintain our current schedule through the finish of my MBA.
  5. State that the onus of scheduling the meetings will be your responsibility, if they will just make an effort to make it happen
  6. You can also let them know, that should they agree, you will provide them with greater details.  You kinda already need to let them know what your goal is, but when you follow up, you can provide info like top 3 strengths and weaknesses, and top areas you would like to develop.
Then, monthly, be a responsible mentee.  If they give you homework, do it.  If you implement a strategy they gave you, provide a success report to your mentor.  They are just as much in it with you, especially when you really allow them to be apart of the journey with you.

A word of caution- Your mentor does have a busy life, like all of us.  I would suggest keeping communication to the scheduling of your appointments and within your appointments.  There have been occasions that something of a game changer was coming into play for me, and then I would just email my mentor for their advice.  Keep these to a minimum as to not become a burden.

One of the things I most look forward to is my graduation, and how I will plan to incorporate my mentors into that special day.  A successful life is certainly not a fully independent life, but one that reflects the conjoined efforts of a small community.  To my husband, my mentors and my family I dedicate this final homestretch of my MBA.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Christian Perfection

What does it really mean to strive for excellence? Perfection?

Yesterday morning I started off with breakfast with some newer friends.  This group I have been organizing is a collection of former award winners of the Profiles in Power Award, and its amazing to be in the presence of these ladies.  So strong and know right where they are going.  Each month I try to get a question to use for the group and we talked about a challenge we faced in 2011 and the things we learned from it.  It was so touching their feedback and support of one another.

Being around them for the morning might have made me a bit aware of the differences between myself and them.  There might be a slight age difference, and with that- experience, know how and self confidence.  By the end of my day I hadn't had my prayer or Bible study time, which centers me, and I was just a bit off.

I already focus largely on the reasons behind what I do, often even down to the little things.  I'm always striving to find greater efficiency, do what I'm doing with sound logic.  I aim for perfection of myself and sometimes that spills out on my sweet husband.  It's not enough that I have to "drive" myself onward to new goals, new performance- Perfection, but then I begin to critique him, and by the end of the night I just didn't feel right. 

As I got into a hot shower to prepare for today, a day full of study groups, I realized I had not spent time with the One who centers me.  (In our last leadership class, we discussed the idea of being centered as a leader).  I turned to one of my favorite books- Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest.  The title- Christian Perfection.

From the reading:
It is a snare to imagine that God wants to make us perfect specimens of what He can do; God's purpose is to make us one with himself.  The emphasis of holiness movements is apt to be that God is producing specimens of holiness to put in His museum.IF you go off on this idea of personal holiness, the dead-set of your life will not be for God, but for what you call the manifestation of God in your life.... The thing that tells for God is not your relevant consistency to an idea of what a saint should be, but your real vital relation to Jesus Christ, and your abandonment to Him...

Christian perfection is not, and never can be, human perfection.  Christian perfection is the perfection of a relationship to God which shows itself amid the irrelevancies of human life.  When you obey the call of Jesus Christ, the first thing that strikes you is the irrelevancy of the things you have to do, and the next thing that strikes you is the fact that other people seem to be living perfectly consistent lives,  Such lives are apt to leave you with the idea that God is unnecessary, by human effort and devotion we can reach the standard God wants.  In a fallen world, this can never be done.  I am called to live in perfect relation to God so that my life produces a longing after God in other lives, not admiration for myself.  Thoughts about myself may hinder my usefulness to God.  God is not after perfecting me to be a specimen in His showroom; He is getting me to the place where He can use me.  Let Him do what He likes.

End.

Wow- talk about speaking truth into ones life.  Because I wasn't centered for the day on God's purpose for me as a leader, I got just tangled up in what the world says is the successful track.  I was caught up in thinking about the career development of a CEO or business owner.  I was being strangulated in what "should be" in a spouse.  No to all these things.  If I am to be who God is calling me, then the next career step is no longer my vision.  I leave these things to God to pursue what is to be my Christian perfection... my leadership.  When in this Profiles in Power breakfast, my goal should be to love, to befriend.  In my marriage- it shouldn't be on this idea of a dynamic social duo... its about the beauty of extending grace.  The joy of forgiveness.

While I learn what I need to meet the requirements of what God may call me to in the future, it is important to remember to strive for this new kind of relational perfection today.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Warning: Getting your MBA may cause some discomfort

It's three weeks away from completion of my 4th semester of the Concordia MBA.  Being that I am in the very first cohort to come through the program, the side effects and contraindications had not yet been all disclosed or perhaps even figured out.  So as we move through the program, I see that I'm experiencing these sensations.  I haven't sought professional help, but I'm pretty sure with the power of internet self-diagnosing, I have a case of the growth pains.

Remember what it was like to be 16?  Just learning to drive?  The taste of independence had you dreaming of the next adventure to come.  And at the same time, there's something nice about living in a home where you don't have to pay the bills.  There's the routine... the familiar... what's comfortable.  I remember my first drive all by myself... to the doughnut store.  I was so excited pulling out of our country gravel driveway, heading up the hill next to our house, I was given a mission, and I had one thing in mind- doughnuts.  I pulled into the doughnut shop.  As I got out of the car, there was that similar discomfort I currently feel.  I suddenly became aware of the first time to really feel being on my own, and a sense of alone.  Obviously, the feeling was not enough to detour me from my mission, or the independence of my own wheels, but today I find myself in a similar state.

Its been over a full year now of learning.  With all this learning comes growth, and new levels of trying out my own independence in business thought and practice.  I've been given additional responsibilities at work, and what was cutting edge has gained a sense of the routine and familiar has become comfortable.  At the same time, its like I'm growing in new directions, and my favorite pair of sneakers just aren't fitting like they used to.  My job is one I love.  A great fit for my natural disposition, and I have such a supportive team, a flexible environment, and co-workers I really love.  What I'm feeling is something between exposure to knowing there's something more- leadership, and wishing I had never seen it, so I could find a true sense of contentment in my current position.  I keep telling myself that it just doesn't get better than this, because honestly I know not much could.  On the other hand, there's this growth of leadership that's happened while I'm getting my MBA, this growth of business know-how that must be used.  And concurrently, this scares the jeebers out of me.  Leadership is so glamorized today... a true leader is carrying a cross of a whole different load.  To serve people, charged with the responsibility of their paths, and yet we're all so flawed and human.  That's alot to take in.  Just thinking of that makes me thrilled that I'm in the position I'm in, with no direct reports. 

My greatest responsibility currently offers me the opportunity of leadership through volunteer subcommittees.  I'm currently organizing an event and 5 subcommitees and internal staff meetings to keep us all on the same page.  Its a great type of leadership to start, because you know your volunteers all choose to be there.  They feel good about the work they are doing.  Hopefully staff feel that way, but you can't count on it day in and day out.  Life happens.

So its like I see this train coming down the tracks.  Its not here yet, but the growth pains of knowing more than I can exercise feels a bit like the baby bird in the nest.  I'm hoping I can take my current job to new heights with what I learn.  Hoping I can find a way to resolve the fit-growth of my current situation.  Hoping I can continue to develop my skills.  I've worked in programs, and now fundraising, and I hope to have the opportunity to learn the organizational side of non-profit business.  Really it's all in the Lord's hands, and I just want to be ready for however He wants to use me.  In the meantime, I'll pray for a content heart, but be warned- learning and the Concordia MBA can lead to side effects known as growing pains.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Writing

Back in highschool I took advanced classes to earn college credit.  One of those classes was British Literature.  I remember having been a straight A student, and getting one of  my first C's on a composition, and some comments that took a swing at my ability as a writer.  Several years later, I found myself in college, and writing for a professor, one of the first times in APA styling.  I got an even worse grade.  When trying to figure out where I went wrong, I went to visit my professor.  He sat me down, and proceeded to tell me I hadn't even tried.  Didn't really teach me anything, assumed I knew APA, and berated my writing for about 15 mintues, until I left his office in tears.

So when I landed this job I currently have as a development professional, I have to say I have been uneasy about my work in grant writing.  I had let the words of this one professor haunt me, and I just came to accept that writing wouldn't be something I was really ever good at.

Today I find myself in a class that intimidates me a bit.  Managing Operations and Technology.  The professor is very direct, something I admire and fear at the same time.  He knows exactly what he's looking for and when you miss the mark, he plainly (not quite rudely) says that it's not what he's looking for.  So I really revere and respect Dr. Cameron, and have been thankful that largely the class has focused on the group effort, and many of our grades reflect group assignments and papers.  In this class we have had 3 assignments that solely reflect our own efforts, and wouldn't you know, they are all written compositions.  The first individual project was a written review of The Goal.  The second was a midterm in class case study.  The last was my individual section of a group paper focused on CVS and the generic drug market impacts.  I received back on The Goal a 94- with comments "an excellent paper, and analysis overall".  The midterm wasn't as great and I got an 86.  Lastly was my efforts on defining the impact of the salient business issue and recommendations for CVS.  I was just coming off of a week long case of the flu, and was concerned about how well I could write on a dose of sudafed and benadryl.  The result- my best grade yet in this class- a 95!  Cameron commented that it was a "well-written, well-organized paper".  I must give credit that I received help from my fellow teammates in some final revisions, but this 5 worded comment was so impacting to me.  Finally- a great review at the scholarly level.  I really feel like I respect Cameron, and these grades weren't just given to me.  They reflect an honest and hard effort.

When I decided to go for my MBA, I knew it would provide me with business knowledge and shore up my inadequacies there.  However, a byproduct of all this paper writing for business has produced in me a stronger writer, and thus a stronger confidence in my abilities.  I certainly don't want this to come across as bragging, but this is a really big deal for me, and I know its important to celebrate these small wins if I'm not to burn out before graduation.  9 more months- it can be done, and done successfully!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Multiple group projects... multiple groups.

Have I mentioned that the classes making the 4th semester have been some of the more challenging?  The sheer work load of case studies has been one to manage.  Here at the end of the semester, the program leadership has diverged from the idea of us only working in one group to simplify group projects, which currently means I have spent both days of my weekend, meeting with separate groups, while managing working a 50+ hour work week.  Not to mention that my second group, assigned by the professor (because he wasn't told by administration that we were already in groups, and then when asking about it was told to do what ever he wanted) was given the short end of the stick, as one group has to have only 4 members, and of our 4 members - one lives 3 hrs away. Limited largely to conference calls, we also have a student who came to the US from China, and so I'm concerned that being limited to voice interaction may cause additional obstacles for our group.  I will say I've enjoyed the opportunity to work with each of these other team members, and for that reason am glad for the opportunity.  I think I would reiterate that alot of thought and consideration went into the development of our groups, and this has afforded us the opportunity to work with different personalities and work styles.  I understand an MBA wasn't cut out to be easy, but if we could maintain the group projects within the pre selected groups, it might avoid undue stress and allow us to focus more efforts into the projects rather than the efforts to pull the different groups together.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

The seasons collide

When trying balance school (especially this semester), the life balance has become my new challenge.  Up until now I've done a fairly decent job of "having it all", and I would say so with fingers crossed, because it doesn't account for when the natural turns of life that just jump right in there.  So today I write in pajamas, fuzzy socks and cuddling in a snuggy (that's right I admit it- I have a snuggy- but to spare my own judgement it's leopard print).  It's officially flu season.  Right in the middle of mid term paper writing, group project completing season.  The two seasons combining means I sit in my jammies all day, running a fever and giving myself a guilt trip that this is the time I budgetted to write my Economics, Marketing, and Competitive Strategy 12 page paper.  I will count my blessings that since I've really felt this coming on since Thursday, I'm lucky to have survived a study group and accomplished our presentation on Zara's Case Study... even survived all three hours of it.  (My poor study group got to see me in a new light (in non fully functioning mode)).  So on a stomach that will only accept hot tea, I have to come to the realization that I am merely a mortal.  While I'm hoping the completion of this MBA will take me to new heights, I must realize there's time to be grounded.  This paper, like all MBA projects and papers, will get done.  And who knows- I may be a more creative writer with a dose of Sudafed.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Where ability meets a calling

As a child I was indoctrinated in the Christian faith.  My parents were both faithful and sure to reassure me of Christ's love.  Early on I found it easy to love people, and assume this had something to do with my faith filled experiences as my father filled various pastoral roles, and even for a brief period my family served as a host family at Texas Baptist Children's Home.  I was surrounded by what I consider a rich heritage.  I remember the wise words of my Granny- "Never dress to where the poor or the rich don't feel comfortable in your company" and she reminded me that people wouldn't care the station of my home, so long as my hospitality showed them they were loved.  Such an importance placed on how we made others feel accepted and loved.

So it was easy for me, with tender heart, to accept the calling God had for me.  I remember talking with Pastor Greg Mills in the kitchen of the little Nazarene church.  I asked him about his experience... his calling.  He said words that had already been echoing in my mind- "I just can't believe I get to get paid to work for the Lord".  It was exactly how I felt.  Pastor Greg gave me my first time to preach on a Sunday night, and helped me get my local minister's license.  He also said something about me I'll never forget, and now take pride in.  He said something like it almost scared him- I had such a lack of fear.

College carried with it some of life's toughest lessons for me.  When you are faced with losing the dad you love, and walk the path of cancer with your mom, and feel great injustice for being passed over in a religion intern program ... I came to a place where I found the end of me.  Before now, I always felt bigger than life, that the body I was given couldn't contain the soul I had inside. 

I graduated college and went on to work for Heart to Heart International.  I loved my work.  Working on the international scene helped reestablish some of the grandeur of life I felt was missing.  I learned about my skills and abilities.  In my early twenties I built systems to move teams through the process and prepare them for international humanitarian trips.  I worked with people and together we built volunteer days of service to assist multiple agencies across Oklahoma City.  I took risks.  I traveled internationally at the age of 23, got stranded in Istanbul, and worked with a team of 35 doctors and non medical staff to do trainings in family medicine, ALSO, over 4 million in meds delivered and worked in two orphanages.  I gained more experience than I ever could have had I played it safe.

Once the project was done, it was time for change, and the door opened to come back to Central Texas.  God gave me the opportunity to work for the Children's Home my family had served at.  God placed leadership in my life that allowed me to spread my wings.  I fell in love with my community and the opportunity to connect them to needs.  As I threw myself fearlessly into seeing what I could push myself to do, I won awards.  I determined that I wanted to be fully prepared for whatever the future might hold for me.  That's when I determined to pursue my MBA.

Its been fun getting to learn such new things... I see my abilities in new lights.  But over the past year I have the recurring thought- what is purpose... and what is my purpose?  Sometimes this thought drives me to feel uncomfortable in my current job and wonder what's next.  Other times, I feel I'm right where I need to be.  Either way, I can't shake the feeling that I need to reconnect with the passion of my youth.  This life isn't about greatness.  Its not about what one person can become.

Lately, Matt and I have joined in the formation of a small group.  I had been told of a devotional by Francis Chan and suggested that as a group we do the book "Crazy Love".  I can't begin to fully convey what this stirs inside me.  My fearlessness and love for others breeds a high value for authenticity for me, but this is so much more than becoming an authentic person of faith.  Its about people again... its about relationship.  Its seeing Jesus for the person He was and is, and overwhelmed by His love... his holiness- I am just speechless.  And while there may not be words, David Crowder puts it best when he talks about his heart beating violently inside of his chest.  I'm overwhelmed - to say it lightly.

I may not know where this purpose takes me, but I know where its driving me.  How can I not just care for and get involved with my community- but now- how can I deeply love?  How can I pray for my coworkers and friends in the community?  How do I meet their needs?  How can I serve as a message of hope and how in the world do I convey and maintain a consistent message of love?  It is about relationship.  Its about my authentic walk with Jesus, and then its about how I recognize that I never fit the mold anyways- so why not adopt the purpose to love radically?

Like I said- I don't know where this MBA will lead.  I only get a hint of the plans God really has for me and for anyone who will surrender.  The task is great, and I know that God has allowed me these years in my early and mid twenties to build a tool kit for whatever He is calling me to.  But whatever this journey is really leading to... I know who holds the future, and I will follow that calling.

Current favorite songs:
Manifesto by The City Harmonic, How He Loves by David Crowder, To Know You by Casting Crowns, What Do I Know of Holy by Addison Road, God of this City by Chris Tomlin

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The path to greatness

Krejci


acevedo
             Women in Leadership
                     A speaker series
            @ Concordia University



Today was the monthly Speaker Series at Concordia with guests Ms. Michelle Krejci, Executive Director Ann Richards School for Young Women Leaders Foundation and Ms. Sylvia Acevedo, CEO and Founder CommuniCard LLC.  Once the public presentation was done, I was invited to attend lunch with these wonderful women and some of Concordia's undergraduate business students.

I was really intreagued by many things these women shared, and we got to dialogue about the balance of a career's expectations, the expected roles in families, and how in many families there is even an active role reversal.  (I have to give props to a recent ABJ article that said just as women should be respected in the board room, men should have respect if choosing to stay with the family).  Anyways...

One thing Michelle said, and something I heard from Mr. Arpey (AA President) was that they went into their work without a final goal.  Mr. Arpey shared about how he just did the best he could with what he was given.  Michelle focused on the relational side of this, talking about the importance of a valued network.

I do development work.  Those who make the field feel sleezy are manipulative and make relationships based on a donor's capacity.  (FYI-I've never looked at my work this way, and I assign the same value to all who cross my path).   Anywho... I was thinking about the relational nature of my job, and how I, also, am not driven with a be all end all job at the end of this MBA experience.  More, I just want the environment that encourages me to grow, learn, and impact the most people with the most good. 

So I was thinking about how often in business there is a transactional nature to relationships.  Given the philosophies I have now shared, I think you know I don't buy into that.  Sometimes that makes the nature of my job challenging... its about time I really start impacting that bottom line.  But then, when you are transactional in your profession or career- its like you play and use that card, and then its gone.  Sure you got the sale, but did you treat the person with respect- did you leave the door open to other potential possibilities of what that person means to you or to your organization further down the road.

As a woman I know there are still those times I actually hit those glass ceilings.  Its real.  And even though I don't have an end goal, I know there is a strong purpose.  (I feel a bit like I'm rambling, and that's because I'm trying to finish before I have to be somewhere).  I just wanted to share the perspective that in a career, we are no longer about the accomplishments.  We aren't even about the money, the prestige or accolades.  We are about relationship.  We are about the journey.  We strengthen our impact as we walk alongside our friends, colleagues and fellow professionals.  Knowing that I could not do fundraising alone.  This is a partnership of missions, as I assume all jobs are.  And it is important to remember that it isn't necessarily a driven end, but its the people we come in contact with, the relationships we develop, paired with honest hard work are really what help us, Mr. Arpey, Ms.Krejci, and Ms. Acevedo to all achieve greatness.

Monday, September 19, 2011

It's not you... it's me

Some have noticed I'm not writing as often lately.  I've been trying to consider the reasons, and have determined a couple of culprits.  First of all, Gmail has gone and switched things up on me.  I blog under my personal email address, but now anytime I sign in to check my school email it signs me out, and I really am just that lazy that I hate to sign back into my personal (not checked very often) email just to blog.  (You may be asking how someone this lazy is going through to get my MBA and work full time.  I like to think of it more as I am prioritizing... rather than sheer laziness).

Another is, there's not all that much to write home about right now.  There is a ton of work going on between the two classes, which is keeping me busier that any other semester has (Sorry to drop that bomb, Cohorts II, III and IV).  Right now is about plowing through and just trying to keep a steady plan in place to make sure everything happens and gets done.  I meet with my group every Wednesday and we google chat once a week to finish our weekly group case studies.  In Economics, Marketing and Competitive Strategy we have been assigned new teams to work on a final project, and we've now got a project underway and timeline laid out.

And lastly, I am a positive person, so I've been trying to find the frame to describe the current dynamic in my cohor.  So to say, enthusiasm is a little wained.  Its hard when you really hit it off with the Program Director, and then there is a leadership change.  I've had an independent meeting with the new director and am allowing her the right to build a separate and different relationship.  I like some of the ideas she has about taking this group to the next level.  All the same, you have to recognize how hard it is when you sign a two year commitment of your life to one style of leadership and direction of the program, and then there is a change, and not all the time are there clear communications about the changes.  I'd really say communication is 95% of it.

I also sense our cohort is falling into a place where if things don't go a certain way, they really voice their opposition.  So honestly, right now I'm not sure about the relationship between our cohort in general and the administrations view of us.  I asked one student their suggestion of what we do to turn this around.  They said, "Walk away."  I don't want to walk away- I have way too much invested.  I am also too invested not only to leave the program physically but to leave the program mentally.  I feel like it would be a cop out for me to check out.  I signed on to be the first cohort- I knew there would be bumps.  I said I would be committed to working them out.  Some may feel the bumps we are hitting are ones that could be avoidable.  May that be the case or not, we have got to find a way to come to partner with the university in sights of something greater.  I want to stay committed to the success of the name of this program, and don't feel that it's too late to change.

I was hesitant about writing this honestly about where I am in the program, but as this is a chronicle of my journey, I have to remind myself that sometimes there is the mire we have to work through.  It isn't always easy.  I know its pretty frustrating how the program seems to be going the last 4 months or so, but so much more than our education, we have the opportunity of real world experience.  We get to see what its like when two groups have a similar goal but life happens on the way there.  We get  to learn temperance, mediation, and what it will look like to be cooperative in spite of obstacles.  I'm hoping not only to feel my MBA's worth at the end of this road, but I'm committed to the rich knowledge that will come along with that journey.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

They often ask me how I do it... here's what school is lately throwing my way, and how I fit it all in.

Semester IV is off with a bang.  I'm taking two classes- both with focuses on Strategy.  So I'm going into the second week of class and still am not REALLY sure even of the name of the classes I am taking.  Part of that has to do with one of the professors who has the Concordia course title on some of his documents and Operations Strategy on others.  I'm too busy to really sort it out, but it is a little bit of a nuisance.

This week I had over 100 pages of reading.  There were assignments to read both chapter twos in each text book.  There was an article "Are you a Strategist or just a Manager?", there were three case studies- Mystic Monk Coffee, Whole Foods Market, and Sensormatic.  For Whole Foods we had to write an Executive Summary (most of us in the class still don't know what an executive summary really is), and then we had to come together with our group to write a Case Study synopsis over the Sensormatic Case.

This was really tricky, and I knew it was going to be.  This last weekend was my husband's and my 5th wedding anniversary.  To celebrate we took off Friday night to Six Flags and from there headed up to Arkansas to visit the in-laws on their 30 acre ranch.  They are really in the country so I knew my connectivity would be limited, so I tried to organize our team with rotational assignments based on the syllabus I had in an excel doc.  I was hopeful we could at least know who was doing what for the paper due the following week before I left.  Call it the joys of being the first cohort through, but after I left, one of my friends saw that an updated syllabus was reporting an extra section that needed to be covered, and now that had to be assigned as well.

I have a wonderful team to work with, and they ended up getting together yesterday at 2:00PM just as I was headed home back through Dallas.  We were able to clarify what all we still needed in order to turn in a completed project the following night.  To make it through this semester they've determined to meet weekly... I think life's just about to take it to the next level...

I made it home after 8 hours of driving, and still had to read two of the case studies, write my summary with bullet points, and write an Executive Summary over the 40 page Whole Foods case study.  I was able to crank out about 4 pages for the exec. summary and 3 pages for the article summary, just in time to shower at 11:45PM and get in bed by midnight.

I've looked at the syllabus, and its going to be pretty intensive up front with group papers written weekly.  On top of that are a few additional individual case studies for the other class, and don't forget the plethora of other projects waiting in the wings!  Add into that a girls trip to Dallas, this weekend, and in a couple more weeks a trip to New Mexico for the Hot Air Balloon Festival. 

I already get told that I do too much... often by people who don't see more than my Facebook posts.  With this semester staring me down, I know I'll have to use my time very wisely. 

So because I get asked quite a bit, how do I do all that I do, I have decided to share my weekly schedule.  I may not describe exactly how, but it does the when part:

Monday- 7:30-5:30 work, every other Monday- Homegroup with church
Tuesday 7:30-4:30 work, 6:00-10:00 Class
Wednesday 7:30-5:30 work, Evenings meet with cohort group
Thursday7:30-5:30 work, Game night with friends
Friday 8:00-1200 work (generally there are additional work activities that tie me up til 3 or so) (Make time for Nap) (start cleaning house)
Saturday- exhausted and unmotivated (might take a trip somewhere) Must force myself to do some reading/homework
Sunday- Morning -church, Afternoon- make time for nap/ homework, Evening- Matt plays softball and I like to go and support him in something he likes to do... and I always aim to get in bed by 10, but its always 11:30PM... and tired as I am- its then time to start the rat race all over again.

What I consider important is relationships and life.  School is not life.  I make time for a game night, because I need friends.  Ever so often - you have to get out of town just to keep things from getting stale.  I like making time for Bible study with other believers, because nothing screams a sinful life other than a half full spiritual tank with energy on empty and the carnal nature takes root.  My husband is my first priority, and even though I have a hard time paying attention to the softball games, I know it means something to be investing my time into the things he likes, him and this life we continue to build together. 

Its not easy to just fit school in there, but you can make time.  Just like the early investment, the education will pay off, and all the more, the earlier you can get it done.  I don't have kids- and that's how I know this is largely possible for me.  I also know others in my class swinging in their kid's baseball tournaments, tennis matches, family memories and vacations.  It can be done.  Plus- the saying is largely true... you can live through anything for a year... or two!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The obvious title choice: Half Way

Its unbelievable that this journey is midway, and yet there are so many times that it feels I have just started.  I can clearly remember going through marketing and beginning new initiatives with that knowledge... Economics, Leadership of Self, Critical Thinking, Org Behavior and Change, Accounting, Finance, Leadership of Others, Org. Ethics- Can it really be that I have completed all of these courses?

I have friends in Cohort 2 and Cohort 3.  We got together for lunch yesterday to sell our books down the line to one another (fyi- the university frowns on this, as they say we should keep our books), and it was so much fun swapping stories, hearing about the different dynamics of each group, and already how classes have morphed and transitioned as each group takes them.  The dynamics of a brand new program are getting all ironed out, and its really interesting to see how being only a semester a part, each of our experiences will each be a little different.

My books are purchased for next semester, but I can tell that I'm suffering with a little burnout.  I really couldn't even tell you the names of the courses I'll begin in a week and a half.  I thought when I hit the midway point that there would be this illustrious moment- a mountain top high.... Instead I find myself in a similar state after I finished my first 5K earlier this year.  Coming through the finish line with a trot that was a sorry excuse for a run, cheeks flush, resembling a glazed doughnut in my glean of sweat...crossing the line and looking for water and shade. I needed to sit before I could really take it all in.  I'm not sure when I'm going to feel I'm really on the downhill from here, but some suggest perhaps when the months left hit the single digits.  We wait and see...

There's talk  about whether there will be a graduation ceremony next August when we complete this journey, as currently Concordia only has ceremonies in December and May.  Its strange to me to begin a program that will graduate when there is nothing planned... Its makes me question why they didn't start the program a semester later and give themselves a year to figure out what to do in this case.  There are others that are upset, and I guess the significance of graduation for many is the true finish line, a critical right of passage, and it is currently a mirage.  I emailed the Program Director and offered to assist in anyway possible.  I even suggested a private reception that could be tailored to the very first cohort coming through the program.  I'm envisioning an opportunity for immediate family, professors and administration to come together and share special words for each student.  The Director said they would consider it, and would let me know if they will proceed with an alternative or graduation program for August of next year.  So for now, like the capstone project it's wait and see.  But we signed up for part of this.  Being the first class to go through, there would be bumps and ambiguity.  Some handle it better than others.  Some make greater leniency for it than others.  Sometimes the bumps seem foreseeable and avoidable, and sometimes its hard to avoid them for the sheer capacity it takes to get something like this off the ground.  Its something I appreciate getting to be aware of- all the intricacies without being solely responsible for a new program.

This last Saturday I went for my first run in a while.  I waited until 10 AM and it was much too late for this Texas heat.  I made it about 20 minutes... and about half the distance of a normal 5K.  The last quarter of a mile was pretty brutal, and I was yearning for that double rocker on my front porch.  I never walked... there may have been a pathetic case of jogging, but I kept it up.  I sat in that rocker enjoying every breeze that came my way.  For days now, my sore muscles remind me of that run.  While there were times in the process that it was struggle to say at the least, I remember the pride I had for weeks after completing my 5K.  This gives me hope as I head into semester 4.  The weeks really are numbered.  At one point this will all come to an end, and I won't have a professor next week to ask a question of in class.  I won't get to laugh at Terry and AJ's jabs at one another in class.  I won't have Kevin to save me from the cockroach that ran under my chair, or Charles to bring his farm fresh peaches.  We will all be bonded together, and see each other on occasion I am sure, but there will be a time when we will no longer be a part of each other's routine.  So while I may be sore from group projects, and sick of another power point or another 100 pages of reading... I'm going to enjoy the journey.  I'm going to bring my notebook to class and keep a log of the funny comments my classmates say.  I'm going to find ways to cherish these relationships that God has placed in my life, and in a short 3 months, there will only be 9 months of the program left.  we'll wonder where the time has flown, and it will be the beginning of then end of this journey and we'll have our MBA's one way or the other.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Sensitivity Training

The past couple of weeks I've seen gender coming into play in various roles of my involvements.  I'll start by saying I've never been a feminist, and have strong ideals that all should be given an equal chance.  As a woman, I am not asking for reparations, just a fair chance. 

Recently, I was seeking some clarity on a project I am involved in, and to get to the long and short of it, I was told I was being withheld from a particular role, even though I was doing the work already, because I am female.  Now to cut to the chase, since this was told to me, an announcement has been made and I am now serving in said role.

However, I just really struggled with the implications this means for me and how this "career world" isn't what I wish it would be. 

On Tuesday night in class I had asked my professor for just some articles on the expectations of the work place.  It was ironic that most of the articles she had printed for me discussed the role of a professional woman.  CNN provided an article titled: 8 ways women can get ahead in the workplace.  Here's a link to it: p://ow.ly/630xO.  The very first piece of advice- Quit thinking the workplace is fair. 

It was a tough pill to swallow.

I woke up several days later, and I was just in a funk about it all.  Part of it is that I'm being told something that I just frankly found it hard to believe someone would say in the 21st century.  Another part concerns me about the liabilities this creates.  The organization doesn't have HR, and I just wonder- where might we get some sensitivity training?

It was early, and I knew I had to find a way to "deal with this" before my day was really underway, so I called my favorite early bird... my mom.

My mom brings a new dynamic to Christian leadership.  She spends multiple hours a day in her scripture reading, prayer and meditation.  Her leadership may come off as passive, but she's one of the most active prayer warriors I know.

That morning, she must have been spending some extra time with Jesus, because her response was just so in line with God's will for me.  When she first talked with me, it wasn't at all what I wanted to hear, but as she shared, I knew it would be the words that develop me into a stronger leader.  There's no way I can add in her voice- I'm too straight and to the point, but here's the bullets:
1. Sometimes God gives us these struggles not because we are supposed to do something immediately about it, but he's entrusting us with a vision for what may be at play.
2.  Being entrusted with this information, we must serve as God's carriers, and not be reactive, or disclose too much.
3. Take time and wait.  Pray and seek Gods will and God's redemption from the struggle.  Sometimes it has more to do with my own development than the actual issue at hand.

I won't pretend that I have this mastered, and I will admit I have a sensitive heart and an active can do attitude, which may mean initial knee jerk reactions that cause myself hurt or grudges with those who inflict careless words.  But in this case I see God working in my own leadership through His personalized course in sensitivity training.  I'm going to swallow this pill, and do what may seem to some as passive.  I will not follow-up on the comments, but I will turn to the Lord and see how he can grow me.  I know God has big plans for my life, and He is in control of my career.  To God there are no glass ceilings, and I trust him in my passions and endeavors for all I do, because really it is who I become in these undertakings that really matters.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Practical Application

Tomorrow morning I will be leading a meeting starting at 7:00AM.  I've led meetings before, but having the experience of my second leadership seminar has me working hard to improve and in many practical ways. 

In the first week we signed up as partners to give a 10 minute "lesson" and a hand out to our fellow classmates from a list our professor provided.  Some of these items were things I had never thought of before.  Holly and I signed up to present on the Meeting Tool Kit.  We created an awesome inventory, and in addition we created a couple of add-ons, like a specific list if you are having a virtual meeting, and even a list of pre- and post- meeting tasks. (I'm happy to provide you a copy if you comment for one below!)  After combing through this list, staying til 6PM, I set the room, and I think our committee will feel great about walking into a room so well prepared! (Can meeting prep be considered one of Chapman's love languages?)

Over the past two days I've been busy preparing, knowing this is our first meeting to kick off the 20th anniversary of an event in April.  I worked for hours on preparation and a very  detailed timeline over the next 12 months.  I've updated the financials document, which is great, because last year was our company's first time to have a budget for this event, and so now we have hard data to base decisions on (Thanks Accounting and Finance!) I have created a subcommittee structure, and have contact info prepared for each sub chair who makes up this steering committee.  The agenda is robust, but I have committed to making this happen in one hour.  To help "steer" this steering committee, I've given them a paper agenda and in addition have written it on the board with check boxes next to it, to feel like we are actually getting somewhere in the meeting (Thanks for the idea, Dr. Johnson!).  To top it off I've made directional signs to hang on the door and have an icebreaker planned (another group's presentation) planned to get us started.

Its so great to be a part of a program that not only gives you the education to stand shoulder to shoulder with the best of the game, but to have such practical pointers will certainly give us greater opportunities for leadership!

Friday, July 29, 2011

Sustainable Leadership

Speaking from the vantage point of a grant writer, one of the keys to securing any grant is proof of sustainability.  Investors and grant funders want to make sure that what they are giving to is a viable and long term option.

I was recently considering how in the past 40 year the practices of business have changed.  My grandfather retired from JC Penny's and he spent most of his career in this store's chains.  He was given a retirement pension with the company, and its really almost sinful to shop anywhere other than Penny's in the family due to their loyalty to the store.

Today, the average job stay is just over 2 years.  Something has changed.

This dynamic is cultural and multi faceted, so to determine it's roots are all entangled with only one cause would be short sighted.  However, through the lens of my Leadership of Others class, I'm starting to see this shift under a different tint. 

Leadership sustainability.

Company leadership has certainly shifted its focus over the last 4 decades, and it seems to me there is so much focus on the quantitative data produced from these companies that this becomes the driving factor.  The bottom line shifts from service focus to expansion, product roll out, and growth... boy does everyone want growth!  But to what cost?  They say that the retraining of a staffer is 2/3rds the cost of their annual salary.  In The First 90 Days, Executives shared that it was generally 6 months until a new hire reached the tipping point to where the company began receiving the value of their investment back out of the new hire.  However, when you consider the average career stay to be just over 2 years, this means that just shy of a quarter of the time the company is losing profits.  This has got to affect the quantitative data these companies seem to strive for.

My concern is more with the qualitative side of the company.  Why won't people commit to their employers?  What stops a career from being rooted and established in one company? 

I'm really blessed, because I often see with the perspective of a Gen Y, but work mostly with individuals who are about twice my age.  I love that most of them have worked in my office for 20 years or so, and in some cases, those who have been around for ONLY 9 years or so, still seem "new to the block".  There is an established culture here that you cannot pay for.  My work surroundings give me a greater perspective and eye for the feel of an established group.  The culture and character of those I work with are strong, so I strongly believe in the work produced by these individuals.  I credit the stability of our culture and climate with sustainable leadership.

While there are times that I may personally be running in front of this organization, wondering what Mountain it will take to move in order to create change, I am so very proud of the direction and history of this great group.  You don't get to be 61 years old by burning the midnight oil at every quarter.  I sometimes think of this type of leadership like a great glacier, and just in the case of the tortoise and the hair,  the slow and methodical movement chisels a path and leaves transformative change... and at the finish line, as the fable goes, you know who will be there first, right?

We may not be in a start up or launch phase, but I think there are keys to our success that can be implemented in those stages.  I believe sustainable leadership provides the opportunity to begin dialogue with colleagues about tenure and their investment into their organization.  I believe sustainable leadership begins to plug the holes of rapid attrition.  I believe sustainable leadership builds the group, their purpose and thus the foundation that will be needed to move business to the future.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Self-Acceptance and Potential... Fueling the fire to lead

The following excerpt is taken from the text "Extraordinary Groups".

Acceptance is about my strengths and weaknesses and my ability to observe myself.  At a deeper level, this is about my identity, knowing who I am and embracing myself as I am.  This need continues throughout my life and is regularly challenged by new circumstances.  When I am more accepting of who I am, I move my center with more confidence to the future.  Paired with the need for Acceptance is the need to experience Potential.  My Potential is the "me" I long to become and my willingness to reshape myself toward that vision.  The need to do so stems from my internal knowledge that I could be different, I could be more.  But how?  This growing of myself requires internal searching, risking, and acting to test my learning self out in the world.

I think it was just a post ago that I shared some of my vulnerabilities, and made mention that it seems that we come to a crisis of self just before God steps in with a hand of revelation.  Tonight, as I read for next week's class in Leadership of Others I came across this paragraph.  I don't know how the English language is capable, but in a paragraph a snapshot of my current paradigm has been taken. 

There seems to be a theme I am discovering about the climate of the workplace I am currently in and the type of person I am.  The result is that my actions and driven nature move faster than pace.  Sometimes the toes I step on are due to moving outside of some presumed structure or the way things are... sometimes I'm young and I get ahead of myself.  I was once told oss of how I am driven, and they like that, but to temper it.  So there are times I get to yearning to action, and before I know it, there I go causing waves.

For most of my life, I built who I am based on what I did and the results of what that was.  Often times that included the opinions of people around me... well largely it continues to.  I'm a consensus builder, and often times I let that consensus build me.

The past year or so, I've become discouraged with my "unintentional waves" within the company.  Sometimes you want to feel like you are just free and able to be in an environment that moves as you do.  I often come back to my love for the people I work with, and the community we have together, which is one that is hard to beat.  I realize at times too that this is an excellent place for this young professional to become a bit more polished, and learn to work within certain constraints.

But tonight its starting to sink in again.  That creating waves happen when you are different than the flow that surrounds you.  And these waves are things I can certainly learn from, but at the same time- I also have to not let them dishearten me, because waves aren't necessarily bad.

I sense myself so deeply within the workings of this paragraph.  Struggling to fully grasp self acceptance- even when perhaps there are those with dissenting opinions.  Learning to stand taller from my pitfalls.  If I can just come to this place...where I know who I am and what I bring, strengths and limitations.  If I can express this to myself and others while accepting myself fully for who I am right now (not when I'm 20 years further down the road and all polished)... all I can say is that once this truly happens... (slow smile)... I have no doubts about the potential.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

To go along with my last post.

I'm sitting here listening to Brandon Heath, and this song came on- perfect for my last posting. Its called Wait and See and its off the What if We album.

My struggle to find myself as a leader. The vulnerable post.

Sometimes, the more you know- the more you come to understand what you don't know.  The point is to learn how to stand with confidence, when you understand what it is you don't know and your weaknesses and strengths as an individual.

I had the honor of having coffee with a new executive in town not too long ago.  She's the President of a new university, and she's accomplished this even before hitting her mid 30s.  I was so inspired by her and the time we had.  We seemed to connect on so many levels, and even in our first coffee I had the opportunity to be vulnerable with what I perceive are some of my weaknesses as a young leader.  She continued to stress the importance of confidence and humility.

A couple months ago, I really struggled with some gossip that was said about me.  I was told that someone thought I was the most self-promoting person they knew.  I should have been able to see the comment for what it was, but it really got to me that I could even be perceived that way.  I had a very strong reaction to this, even taking home from my office any award or recognition I had received, feeling it was no longer something I could even take pride in.  It's hard for me to be this vulnerable or even express that something like this has really shaken my confidence and my comfort within my current position.

I had coffee yesterday with Dr. Linda Ford.  She's the former MBA Director, and is transitioning out and back into her own practice.  I esteem her and her opinion.  Words she spoke months ago, I can recall verbatim.  Yesterday, she challenged me and said that she recognized my leadership potential, even if I didn't.  She issued a challenge for me to focus on the times I am standing up to lead, rather than to focus on my missteps or people's incorrect assumptions about my motives.

Going back to my new executive friend, and the conversations we had- I asked her how she got to where she is.  She talked about the value of working her way up, and that the most value came from when she did something that wasn't quite right.  She emphasized the value in the learning opportunity that comes from mistakes.

For me mistakes are hard to eat.  Most everything I do is very reasoned and with intention and purpose.  When I do make a mistake- I take it personally... and probably too personally.  It shakes my confidence, and makes me question my own capacity.

Tonight is our first night in our second leadership class.  Its called Leadership of Others, so I don't think its any coincidence that this is the particular area I am struggling with. As a Christian, I see this as the struggle that often ensues before we receive the promise God has for us.  So I will take Dr. Ford's and my new friend's words to heart, and trust that God really does have something for me in these next 5 weeks of class.  Its time to release my insecurities with subjects I don't come to easily (such as Finance and Accounting) and get back into the stream God has called me from.  Its time to let go of hurtful words and not let them cause me to doubt myself.  Its time for me to remember who God has called me to be, flawed and mistaken and all, and embrace it.  The total leader makes mistakes... its in this process- the aftermath, that the true character of leadership is cultivated and revealed.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Inspiration Strikes... and its looking like a Capstone Opportunity

This week we completed Ethics and knocked out week 10 of Finance.  For Ethics we had 20 individual ethical situations that we had to respond to using 1-3 paragraphs.  It was thankfully a take home, or I never would have finished in class.  The final product- 17 pages, double spaced.  Must be one of the longest papers I've ever written in a weekend.

In Finance we talked about the WACC (Weighted Average Cost of Capital).  I still don't have it down yet, but I am amazed at how this class is the only one from the whole program that ends up in my dreams.  Even last night I remember waking up and thinking... "DON'T forget to take out the tax on debt!!!  Hmmm.. that was weird."

We were given a 10 minute break in Finance, so I got to talking with my friend about how she is going to be working on a specific project, and I was really excited for her, because something similar to what she's doing is on my bucket list.  She then shared how she had already had some success working on similar projects.  I'm not sure how it all happened, but I shared with her my desire to take business principles and make them applicable to nonprofits, to enable nonprofits the ability to increase efficiencies and systems so they can serve more with less.  I can clearly see how limited financial resources are going to have to make nonprofits streamline, but I understand the need to maintain the feeling and identity that come with not for profit work.  And it struck, a bolt of inspiration flashed, and the idea was born to marry this idea through this particular type of project.

Of course, now comes the part where we have to determine what is feasible, or even allowed for the capstone, since it is still in shades of grey.  We're going to work on solidifying the project's definatives, so that way we have something to intelligently talk about when getting together with Dr. Christian and Dr. Brazier.

Sorry for the ambivalence in sharing what exactly we are thinking about.  We just gotta get this a little further down the tracks before any announcements are made.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

I'd like to add a course to that...

For those of you in Philanthropy, you may be familiar with Indiana University's School of Fund Raising.  A big thanks to AFP (Association of Fundraising Professionals) and Austin Community Foundation we were able to have a week's long classes brought down to Austin.  We held class at The Long Center, so the whole experience was a bit breath taking- including the private tour of The Long Center!

We had class from 8-5, and Tuesday was a bit especially long because I'm not so used to being stuck in a chair the whole day (my fellow fundraisers feel me).  It was a great brush up on many foundational principals in Philanthropy.  You know- sometimes its just nice for someone to say that you're doing the right thing and confirm best practices.  One thing I particularly loved was the wealth of experience in the classmates that surrounded me.  What amazing people who had a great feel on the pulse of philanthropy right here in the Austin metro.  That was so encouraging and engaging!

I got an email today mentioning IU would be coming back to the area for the next certificate of the program, and we were asked if we would prefer it to be summer or fall of 2012.  2012 is monumental for me!  Not only will my husband graduate from his 3 years in graduate school, but I'll complete my MBA with Concordia that summer.  When you think a program is two years, its just close enough to induce hope, and far enough away to think - I've got plenty of time.  Now that I see 2012 and it relates to my real world- its just exciting.  Course my answer was Fall 2012... not only will Capstone be in full force next summer, but I might, just might, suffer education withdrawals.  Rather than run to start a PhD, I'd prefer to fill my addition with another week with IU!

Occassional Tweeter

For those of you who want to follow me on twitter, I'm at AmandaKeeter.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The manufacturing of endurance.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

James is one of my favorite books in the Bible.  Though separated by a couple thousand years, I really appreciate the author's sense of candor, and his words currently strike a chord.

I mentioned several posts ago that my husband and I would be taking our annual hiking trip.  This year's National Park was Yosemite.  I have a hard time trying to put into words the grandeur that is this park.  Matt and I flew in Thursday, and were pleasantly surprised after 100+ degree temps to find California coastal weather.  After a brief 3 hour drive from Sacramento, we arrived, and quickly found the importance of layering... We stayed in Curry Village (also known as Camp Curry), and for our first night in canvas tents, the temps dropped to 29 degrees.  I slept with 2 sleeping bags, two wool blankets, a sheet, a fleece, and then a scarf, beanie, gloves and my Tajik socks.  The next day warmed to upper 50s, and we took the Misty Trail to Vernal Falls and on up to the Nevada Falls and down the John Muir Trail.  The Misty Trail had quite a few steps, but the scenery was incredible.  It was about 2,000 ft change in elevation.  Here are some pictures from that first day.
Here we are starting from our tents- Notice the use of layering! 
Here I'm just starting out... I now recognize that when you get moving, and blue polar jacket is not necessary, even if the temp is 40 degrees.

Did I mention stairs?  This is where we just saw Vernal Falls and decided to continue on to Nevada Falls.



This is Nevada Falls.  We're hiking to the top of that!


We made it to the top!  Day 1- Accomplished... now, just got to make it back down!





















I liken this first day's hike to semesters I and II.  Were there challenges?  You bet!  It had been since September that we were in Yellowstone and The Grand Tetons, and our muscles weren't used to being used in this way.  So is it with going back to school after any extended period of time.  But just when you think I can't do one more stair/ group project... you find yourself at a point of accomplishment!

Day Two is what I call second phase.  My team and I really pushed ourselves on day one, and the soreness starts to set in.  But for all of us, that wasn't going to keep us from seeing, experiencing and doing.  Day two we headed to the Upper and Lower Falls of Yosemite.  These falls are the second largest in our nation, and again another 2,000 ft change in elevation.  This, I knew would be our more strenuous hike, and I knew I had the shortest legs out of the bunch, so already it would be a bit more of a challenge for me.  However, I did not know what type of challenge I would be in for.  I lost track of the number of switch backs, but remember there being some exorbitant number, and that this hike is reportedly 14 miles round trip.  Much of the hike was stepping/leaping from granite rock to granite rock, and trying not to twist an ankle or fall.  I lost track of how many times I almost did both, had it not been for my handy dandy hiking poles.
Here's a picture of what we were attempting:

Notice the trail- this was when the trail was easier...

It took so long to get to the top, and half way up in began to rain.  (Did I mention highs this day were like 42 degrees?)  By the time I got to the top, I had lost feeling in my fingers, and I loved what we could see of the view through the clouds, but knowing the trail I had to get back down, I couldn't help but feel a bit of dread.  My crew was so wonderful to allow me to take the lead down, and I led the entire 7 miles down.  You would think downhill should be easier, but now with granite rock covered in sand and mist and the force of gravity making you move pretty quick can take a toll on your knees, and every part of me began to give in to the thoughts "You know, these other hikers would already be at the bottom, if it weren't for you" or "Why am I so klutzy on these dumb rocks? There are people even trail running this!"  About half way down I almost gave into my own little pity party... not even the Grand Canyon, rim to rim, mastered me, but this one day hike was trying to master me.  Just in time, We hit the sandy switchbacks, and I was back to sure footing and almost jogging down the trail.  The elevation flew, and it was really before I knew it that we were back down to the trail head.  I had a tremendous sense of accomplishment.  I was wet, cold, and achy, but I looked up at those falls, and knew, it was I that mastered them!

I feel that Semester 3 is much like this second phase.  Maybe being that it's summer, I have felt disconnected from program leadership... there's been some changes in the Program Director, and balls have dropped in the mid course survey, and Ethics hasn't met my expectations, but all this is part of being part of this inaugural class.  The trail isn't always smooth, and not only does Finance provide a challenge, having never taken a finance class before, but there's summer, and reaching a point where we've been pushing so hard, that you just aren't sure what's left to give.... and then it comes... the moment, when you determine... who will be mastered, and that just as this trail provided opportunities for trials and tests, we've garnered the endurance and perseverance that my friend James alludes to leading to steadfastness.  So hang tight!  You can do it, knowing that the test provides the opportunity for character endurance, and this will prove to be a greater challenge and reward than any Ethics or Finance class could ever provide.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

LOST

My husband and I are avid fans of the show LOST.  If you haven't had a chance to catch it, or were one of the many why tried one random episode, and your response was "huh?" instead of "WHAT!" then you may not know what I'm talking about.  For Matt's birthday and Christmas presents we've been collecting one season at a time... and luckily his cousin allowed us to borrow the ones we currently lack.  On weekends this is one way that my husband and I are able to reconnect and just have some downtime together.  If you are a fan of LOST as much as we are, then you will know just how quickly "I'll just watch one more" can turn into three more, and all of the sudden nearly 3 hours have passed.

Since my vacation last week, I have officially missed my first weekly post, so that can give you just an idea of how busy life is right now.  I'm one of those people who do it to myself, so I don't deserve any pity.  This week seems to be just more of that than usual... Saturday morning I hosted a study group for my team members at my office... I got there early to review where we are and prepare for the upcoming Ethics debate.  Once two of my team members got there, we talked Finance for 3 hours to prepare for Tuesday's test.  Saturday night I headed over to my parents house to help them prepare for moving out of my childhood home. Today, being Father's Day, it included church and a meal with my family and extended family, and tonight I have focused in more on Finance for a test I'm feeling less than prepared for.  Tomorrow will be a full day of work, followed up by meeting my study group at Concordia to run through our Ethics debate, and perhaps sneak in some more Finance studying.  Tuesday, after work is the infamous debate and test, and Wednesday and Thursday I'll need to crank out my 8 page individual paper for Ethics.  ( I had full intentions of beginning this prior to the week before its due, but just as I get swept up in LOST, I get caught up in life... and my house represents this "lack of having it together" currently").  Friday I have a friend's party, Saturday I'm throwing my friend's baby shower (of which I still need to buy a gift), and Sunday is a garage sale for my parent's.  My dad is out of town in pre reqs to go back to school to be a nurse, which leaves a heavy load on my mom to get the house ready for moving out.

I find its between the things we want to do, feel obligated to do and need to do that we, that we as students, have to figure out time to get debates, tests and papers done.  However, I refuse to lose my life to this type of rat race.... its when I get caught up in these things that I experience my own personal feelings of  being LOST.

It seems that in this day and age, by giving up on one's personal time, people are treated with kudos and accolades...  yet amidst all this business of the necessary and expediary, people can lose themselves... they can lose their purpose and before they know it, they do great things, but forget what for.

So tonight I cut out sometime just before I hit the sack to admit it... I have been watching episodes of LOST.  I've cut out time... maybe too much time to sit next to Matt under a blanket and reconnect under the guise of smoke monsters, submarines, and a twisting plot of rescues.  I may not be completely prepared for the test, debate or paper, but like always... I'll pull it out.  The important thing is to determine this balance for each person...

I fully recommend that people should push themselves and see what they are really capable of, but - don't forget why you are doing this and don't forget the reasons (who) you  are doing this for.  In the future, I won't be caught up in this impending paper, but I will still have my marriage... and perhaps a kid or two.  And to that end and goal, I can justify making the time for one more episode...

I have last week's post in my mind, but it may be after next week before I get it posted.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

An MBA- more than an education

It's amazing the difference I see in myself since starting this MBA program just 9 months ago.  I know I've described previously this learning curve in my knowledge and writing, butit continues to hit me how it's helping me to develop personally and professionally. 

Yesterday I had lunch with a friend, who I truly respect.  He has a successful career in politics, and has been involved in the initial year that my friend and I launched the young professionals development program for a local Chamber of Commerce.  He asked me what the launching and running of that program has taught me.  It took me a second before I responded.  I said that the program has given me confidence, and that I have thoroughly enjoyed the development process.  Investing in other people to see just how great they can become, and you know when you see them reach new peaks in their own journey, you feel included and so happy for their success.  

Thinking back about my response, I know that in each part of my answer, that my MBA program has played some role.  I certainly have seen the development of my own confidence through the program.  There's also something just to the educational process, when done right, that leaves a theme of empowerment on every part of your life.  With wonderful professors who invest in their students, I just feel incredibly motivated to take that investment and pay it forward.  Since I don't make "the big bucks" my investment is time, encouragement and an intent to be "life giving".  Not to diverge much farther, but I consider it an honor to have only that to give.  It gives all that more meaning to how intentional one has to be with life and the people that surround you.  With money, it seems almost just too easy to give it away.  Such a precious commodity of time and investment in others has great cost, but can also have great rewards.

As I concluded my lunch with my friend, I discovered he too had been through his MBA.  He looked back on his memories, and I could see myself in the present.  He talked about his cohorts and how they have become life long friends.  I thought about the other people in my current cohort, so glad to know that what we're creating now will be a life long network of friendships.  I asked him- was it all worth it?  He said DEFINITELY!