Diagnosed

I have about 15 minutes to get out what's been swirling in my head, so I apologize if this isn't my most thoughtful or well written post.  As a working mom, I find that you have to just seize the moments you've got.

Matt and I got back from Banff a couple weeks ago.  It was an incredible trip I had been wanting to take for years.  We got to see and do so much in the short amount of time that we were there.  What is always apparent to me as we go on these hikes annually is how nature does draw me closer to God.

This trip seemed a bit steeped in worry by a few of the people I was with.  Yet time and time again I saw the soft whispers of God's timing and care for us in the everyday.  It happened enough times to catch my attention and realize there was so much more than coincidence that I began to sink down into this understanding and peace that in a way that many people say que sera sera, I was ready to hand the next stage, the next adventure over to God and see what he was going to do next.

Monday is giving me the opportunity to put this new found freedom into practice in the everyday.  Matt and I several months ago began working with a financial planner, and included the need for life insurance.  As Matt received the standard pee in the cup test, the results came back that he failed.  We were assured this happened on a semi regular basis and were moved to the two day test, which surprised us a bit when Matt failed again.  We again were told this wasn't uncommon and we'd just need to go into a doctor to get a written excuse note for why things seemed a little off.

Course my sweet husband isn't exactly what I'd call procactive, so it wasn't until he had strep throat and began seeing blood in his urine that he scheduled that visit.  At that visit, I armed with the results from his previous tests, the doctors saw him and determined through their own tests that this may be more than a bad sore throat.  Matt was put on antibiotics but given a slew of symptoms to watch for, and if exhibited, would need to go to the ER.

We scheduled a visit with a kidney specialist.  After their first visit, she put Matt through a series of blood work and imaging of his kidneys, and a follow up visit was scheduled.

Monday we had that follow up visit and Matt was casually given the diagnosis of IGA Nephropathy.  A common, unfortunately uncurable, kidney disease.  She tried making us feel better that most people are able to live decent lives and only a few people go on to a more serious stage.  Later in her conversation she clarified that only a few was actually one-third.  (A few more than a few in my books).  Dr. Google went on to confirm that about 1 in 4 within 20-25 years need a kidney transplant, which led to my innappropriate joking that Matt and I better get started on having more kids so we'd have some viable options for a donor.

So here we are... Thursday, and I'm being given time and time again to recognize the moments in life where God whispers.  And the funny thing is, once I'm listening for the whispers, His presence is made known in such clarity.  Time and again, things that only God and I share come through in a word someone says, some encouragement given, many times unrelated to one another or from others who don't know our full story yet.

Well, I've got two minutes in my 15 to crank this out, so I'll leave with this.  I'm challenged today to pause.  I pray.  I recite the Lord's prayer in song form that we've done at church and am challenged so much by the words - Your kingdom, come quickly.  Your will be done the same, on earth as it is in heaven.  Let Heaven come to earth.  To fully relinquish my will, my worry, and rest in the arms of God.  To pray that as in Heaven, His will be done here, for my family, for those I love.  May it be.